This is a wonderful time to be alive. There have never been more possibilities and opportunities for you to achieve more of your goals than exist today. As perhaps never before in human history, you are actually drowning in options. In fact, there are so many good things that you can do, that your ability to decide among them may be the critical determinant of what you accomplish in life.

Enough said.

“To know one’s self is a constant and continual process. Observe yourself. Be aware. Watch yourself in the moments of the day. Listen to yourself. Notice how you act or react in certain situations.” This is the advice of inspirational author Matthew Kelly in his book “The Rhythm of Life”. Kelly’s mission is to help people become the best version of themselves.

I have found that, while I am fairly adept at observing myself, I am quick to transition from observation to judgment. While it is helpful to acknowledge weaknesses along with strengths, berating myself for those weaknesses is not very productive. Far more productive is fashioning a plan to overcome such weaknesses.

For example, I originally intended to make this post much closer to the original post about knowing one’s self. And I am annoyed with myself that there was a lapse of several weeks. I have observed the action (or lack thereof). I have observed the annoyance. And now, it is my natural inclination to tell myself that I am too disorganized, too over-extended and too dumb to do this right. OK, OK, that last part about being dumb….I don’t think I truly think that about myself, but the impression is still there. Pretty harsh judgment.

It would be so much better to acknowledge that I get annoyed when I don’t follow through on an intention and then choose to (a) institute some practices or systems to help me in fulfilling my intentions; or (b) accept that, while it was a good intention, it was not vital for the success of the world, AND it may have been replaced with other equally good or even better intentions, such that annoyance is a really inappropriate response.

For example, the blog entry about choices posted in lieu of this one ties perfectly into this topic, as I am choosing how to respond to this observation about myself! And if I choose to stop judging myself at least long enough to reflect on that…voila! My original intention was, indeed, replaced with an equally good or even better intention. So, observing that I felt annoyance with myself as I strive to know myself, I can make another choice to replace that annoyance with a much more productive outlook. And the cycle continues. I can and want to continue to notice and observe myself so that I can know myself more fully and become the best version of myself.

“The choices, after all, are yours. You choose happiness. you choose sadness. you choose decisiveness. You choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure. You choose courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment, every situation, provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a perfect opportunity to do things differently to produce more positive results.”

Again, perfect advice for those of us choosing to “do things differently” as a work at home mom. When the going gets tough, when you question this career path, when you wonder about your sanity (!), remember…..you get to choose!!

Even AS a home-based business owner, I have to make a concerted effort not to be “one of those” who forgets that I have choices. First of all, I’m a creature of habit. I like routine. I do well with predictability. In addition, I do tend to easily engage in that process of making a living. It’s not even something I think about – I just do it. So, when I play with the idea of designing aspects of my life, in ways big or small, it is a big deal for me.

Toward the end of last month, I was bemoaning a big monthly newsletter project I wanted to complete and get out to my business network. It felt like an overwhelming amount of work, and I was being rather creative at finding ways to avoid it. My focus was on summer family affairs. But I had made a commitment to myself to do the newsletter, and I felt like I “had to” get it done.

Enter my business coach. She helped me identify all kinds of choices I didn’t even see in my consternation: I could subscribe to an online pre-made newsletter service and send that one; I could not send a newsletter that month at all; I could combine that month with the next month and do a single mailing at the beginning of the next month (instead of staying with my routine of sending toward the end of the month); I could send something else easier and less time-intensive to prepare in lieu of a newsletter….

OH, so I could make choices in designing this very small piece of my life that still honored the commitment I made to myself AND allowed me to maintain my family-first priorities!! Wow – what a great realization! It relieved so much stress that I just finished the newsletter up and sent it out. The finished product was slightly shorter than normal, with somewhat lower quality (in my opinion). But it garnered as much if not more response than any other newsletter I’ve sent over the years.

In retrospect, this seems like a very small thing. But combining enough of these small things makes a big difference in one’s quality of life. And, of course, this advice applies to big things as well, like if you are doing a “second look at life” in general. This is, I think, what motivates many professional women to opt for the work at home mom option. I admire and applaud those who follow Rohn’s advice: “take a second look at your life and where you’re headed.”

Of course, this advice is longstanding among great thinkers (think Socrates’ “know thyself”). And when I read it again recently, I was struck by how true it is for some women to make the decision to be a work at home mom.

I mean, deciding to make the transition from being in the corporate world to having a home-based business takes a knowledge of one’s self, one’s strengths and one’s priorities that may only come with purposeful reflection. Perhaps that transition is mental only, as with a woman who decides not to begin the traditional career path, in anticipation of motherhood. Mental and/or actual, I suspect there is some transition involved in most cases. While being a work at home mom is growing in popularity, it still isn’t the norm. And so, a woman must know herself to embrace this alternative option as the good fit for her and her family that it may very well be. Do you know thyself?!

You may have to persist at things that involve you only but you don’t particularly enjoy, and you may have to persist at actions (like phone calls and presentations) by which you hope to engage another person. In the latter case, another key word to remember is effort. You are responsible for your effort. You are not responsible for the outcome (which in these cases is dependent on another person’s behavior). As long as you persist in putting forth the effort, you succeed! Regardless of what the other person says, thinks, or decides. You win!

It is a completely logical conclusion to draw, but it sure can be hard to remember when your effort is met with repeated “no”s. That’s where the work at home mom draws on her resilience and inner strength (qualities that are a given for our breed). You DO have them – draw on them and let them shine. Congratulate your victory in making the persistent effort, no matter what the outcome!!

So I was actually kind of surprised to find how much I enjoy and appreciate the team business support inherent in my business model. Each team member has her (or his) own business in the same field, but we aren’t really competitors and we are connected by a common business mentor. I applaud the success of my team members which in no way diminishes my own accomplishments, which are, in turn, also celebrated by the team (see the previous post for an example).

Seems to be a good marriage of independence and teamwork, doesn’t it?

My highlight this week? Having something I really believe in to share with three people who happened to cross my path with particular needs this week. Something to make their lives better. Love that feeling of doing well (financially) by doing good (for others).

The June ’09 issue of Parade Magazine states by 2019 over 40% of the work force is going to be independent contractors. Richard Kiyosaki of Rich Dad/Poor Dad fame talks a lot about entrepreneurship and its increasing role in our world. We work at home moms with home-based businesses are part of these trends! Our hour has come .

So, what does that mean? Well, first of all, it gives our ventures credibility. I still sometimes hear work at home moms share that the reactions they get when they tell people what they “do” can be less than affirming. Maybe it’s the term, rather than the activity, but part of this larger trend will surely be an increased force of work at home moms with home-based businesses and an increased acceptance of this career choice. It may even thereby give someone the courage to persevere, or make the transition they’ve thought about making to this kind of career.

It’s exciting and yet humbling, in a way. We are frontrunners in a field that will change the landscape of our economy. Go WAHMs!!